"Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it’s all over."
-Gloria Naylor in The Women of Brewster's Place
I'm at a point in my life where I am re-evaluating relationships I have in my life. There are some friends who are unable to be supportive of you and the decisions you make for whatever reason. I think I'm a great friend to people. I haven't always been that way- often thinking of how their decisions would impact me, not always seeing value in their decisions, and second guessing them at every turn. However over the years I have learned that being a friend, a real friend, means supporting someone and being there for them. I'm trimming people from my life who are unable to do this for me. Reciprocity is important.
On the mommy front- Dyl and her Paw Paw are going to a father daughter dance this weekend. She's so excited to be going to a special place with her Paw Paw. They are going with our neighbors who Dylan adores. I'm thrilled that she is going and even more so that my dad is as excited as Dyl is- probably more. As much as it pains me that Dyl's dad can't do these things with her I'm happy that there is someone in her life who relishes the opportunity to do these things with her.
She has requested a pink dress and noisy shoes. That girl is easy to please :)
I can see that...ask me a few years ago and I would have said I consider my self a great friend. I think sometimes being in a great, supportive situation (which it seems you are) and having a great relationship (Parents/Dyl) does that...I also think being in the opposite situation can have the opposite effect.
ReplyDeleteI know I blame my mom for a lot of things, but after I stopped taking care of my mom, I really just wanted to be by myself and take care of myself. [I'm still not really sure how taking care of my mom affected me or if I've truly processed everything that happened, but sadly it still leaves a bitter-sweet taste in my mouth.] Even dating my future-hubby at first was an issue. I would say I was going out with friends and spend the night watching tv and movies alone with my dog. We eventually went to couples counseling and I got better about being around people, but I realized (after my mom left) that I just wanted to do stuff I wanted to do...and kinda be selfish for a bit. I know I kinda sound like an ass but sometimes that's what happens.
Life comes to you in phases and the best of friendships are like a marriage. Chances are if you felt you were judgmental and second guessed your friends before and they were still your friends...lol, then they're still your friends whether you're re-evaluating them or not. Sometimes people have to get through their own personal issues to be a good friend. And if you're still their friend, I'd say try being as equally patient with them. With good friends divorce is not an option :)
*Dyl in pink squeaky shoes and stepping on Paw Paw's feet while they dance...pass the tissues :)